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Do I actually look like her, or should you stop and take a sip of your drink? Chances are, the answer is the latter.
My first encounter with this particular type of situation was during the Super Bowl. A powerful Black woman went on live television during the most-watched event of the year and called for women everywhere to band together and fight patriarchy, all while serving modern-day Black Panther realness.
That was some scary shit. White men were shooketh to the core. There he was, the ever-elusive Black-woman-voice-silencer.
He crossed the line. Judgement Day had come. All of those men were immediately cancelled. But not before they were educated. Now, everyone is entitled to their opinion.
That my voice and brain are severe threats to your obviously fragile manhood. And, no. Thanks in advance. The color of my skin coupled with the truth serum that is my personality makes me more prone to defending my line of judgement than the average person.
Tinder Pick-Up Lines. Tinder Bios. Dating Tips. First Dates. Swipe Sessions. Tinder Inclusivity. He was tall, authoritative, kind, and loving, but I never thought about what colour he would be.
Aged 16, I entered my first interracial relationship. The topic of race never came up. I was number two, possibly even three, but definitely a secret.
It became glaringly obvious that there might be a reason he had the picture-perfect blonde girl on the outside, and me tucked away behind the scenes.
I know now that if someone loves you they are proud of you, and I deserve to be loved loudly. But I went into my 20s without many Black friends and more interracial relationships followed.
I watched a few of my white friends date Black men. With each relationship, I accepted the fetishisation of the curly-haired, mixed-race babies I could provide.
In a way, just being with someone was more important to me than challenging the microaggressions. Often race never got discussed at all.
On social media and beyond, conversations about colonialism, institutional racism and the systemic barriers that keep Black people one step behind have become our new normal.
But had I even practiced what I preached? Seeing Black people protest just to have equality, and to not die at the hands of the police, triggered something inside of me.
Whether it was comments they had made or the topic as a whole, I could never bring myself to broach it out of fear of causing unnecessary friction.
So here I am, a Black woman that has only dated white men. I have been guilty of letting things slide for the sake of ignorant bliss but racism will not just vanish by ignoring it, or being silent, because that can be seen as complicity.
Acceptance, even. I believed that being in an interracial relationship was no different to being with someone of the same race.
Whether it was comments they had made or the topic as a whole, I could never bring myself to broach it out of fear of causing unnecessary friction.
So here I am, a Black woman that has only dated white men. I have been guilty of letting things slide for the sake of ignorant bliss but racism will not just vanish by ignoring it, or being silent, because that can be seen as complicity.
Acceptance, even. I believed that being in an interracial relationship was no different to being with someone of the same race. But what I thought was a shared experience is simply a delusion.
Even if you and your partner grew up in the same town, on the same street, being a different race comes with a completely different set of challenges and experiences.
Race will have to be discussed at the very start. What steps will they take to be proactively be anti-racist?
True love is about the ability to be open and honest with someone without fear of repercussions. True love is being vocal and making sure your voice is heard.
True love is recognising your differences, not ignoring them. If you have a love story to share, email rosy.
MORE: What heartbreak taught me about true love. MORE: Dating as a plus-size woman means relentless rejection.
MORE: Being a virgin makes it so much harder to find love. The Fix The daily lifestyle email from Metro. Sign up. Share this article via facebook Share this article via twitter Share this article via messenger Share this with Share this article via email Share this article via flipboard Copy link.
Then you can decide whether you want to take the next step in improving your love life and interact with any of the singles you think you might get along with.
When Black women open an account with AfroRomance, they'll meet plenty of gorgeous White men, so why wait? When you join the world of AfroRomance, you'll never want to look back.
The AfroRomance brand is built on the desire to help singles form genuine connections with other singles, in turn leading to successful interracial couples.
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